{From the Mouths of Babes: Volume 1}

Children are wild and mystical little creatures and from pretty much the day that they wake up being able to do more than jibber jabber it means you’re in for some of the most random, unbelievable and hilarious non-sense to ever grace your ears.

If you’re like me, sometimes the words to come out of your kid’s mouth are too good to risk forgetting. So, you jot them down to laugh at whenever you’re on the verge of trying to return said child to wherever she came from, or because it will make the perfect material to embarrass him with on his wedding day. Or even because it’s one of those days that literally everything she does and says is so damn sweet.

So I figure that over the years I will need a safe place to keep these little anecdotes where I can see them. And who knows, maybe you’ll cringe, smile with glee, or laugh just like I do on the daily.

In any case, kids really do say the darnedest things – AND in my house, dad can be just as much of something to laugh at. So here ‘goes From the Mouths of Babes, Volume I with a healthy little side dish of From the Mouths of Dads, too. 😉

*Steals Harlow’s soother and runs away*
‘I’m being bad!!’

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*Asking what everything in the pantry is, and points to a bottle of vinegar*
Lyric: ‘What’s that?!’
Mom: ‘That’s vinegar.’
Lyric: ‘Ooh! yummy in my tummy!

——

Mom: ‘Do you want water or milk?’
Lyric: ‘Ummmmmmmmm, how ’bout juice!?!’

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*I’m nursing Harlow I hear a few muffled bangs.*
Lyric: ‘Mom I put apples in there!’ Pointing to floor register
Mom: ‘What?! Lyrics don’t put your apple slices in there!!’
Lyric: Turns her head to the side & smiles ‘I did. But don’t cry! I need more apples, mom…’

——

Mom: ‘What do you want for breakfast?’
Lyric: ‘MEATBALLS! And spaghetti too!’

——

Mom: ‘Do you want a time out?’
Lyric: ‘Yes, please!’

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*Dav and I are quizzing Lyric on all the things on a page in a book*
Mom & Dad: ‘What’s that?’ pointing to a yellow bottle of juice
Lyric: ‘Beer!’

——

Mom: ‘Hi pumpkin!’ talking to Harlow
Lyric: ‘Mommy…that’s not a pumpkin, that baby Harlow.’

——

Mom: ‘Lyric, daddy is being bad.’
Lyric: ‘Daddy, me too!’ runs over to hug his leg

——

*first thing in the morning she wakes up and comes to our bed*
Lyric: ‘Mom, look at my hair. I showered with daddy and it’s really pretty…Now look at my armpit!’

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*A lady comes to the door to buy some toys that Lyric never plays with*
Lyric: ‘haayyyyyy!!! Those are my toys!’
*We motion to lady to take the toys and run away fast*
Lyric: ‘Mommy, that lady took my toys!’

——

*Reading ‘That’s Not my Gorilla’*
Mom: ‘That’s not my gorilla…his eyebrows are too bushy!’
Lyric: ‘Like Dodo?? (her Gido) Dodo has really bushy eyebrows too!!’

from the mouths of dads

Dad to Lyric: ‘Let’s go pee then I’ll make you a Caesar, okay?!’
*note that the caesar was indeed child friendly*

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Dad to Mom: ‘Why do kids and babies smell so good? They’re supposed to smell like farts and boogers and poop.’

 ——

*Eating a cookie in plain site trying to outsmart the toddler*
Lyric: ‘Daddy…what are you eating?’
Dad: ‘Oh, um, this is a piece of bread.’
Lyric: ‘Daddy…that’s not bread that’s a cookie. I like cookies, too, you know!!’

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